Government Goes For Incompetence Gold

The Government is on course to break its record for the largest loss of citizens' data in a single year. After a particular strong showing in the 2007 data loss competition when it managed to mislay some 36,989,300 pieces of personal information, the Government is setting its sights on smashing its own record for rank incompetence and utter farce.

The latest step towards this unprecedented target was announced by a beaming official from the Ministry of Justice who proudly revealed that 45,000 people had been affected in nine separate data loss incidents within the Ministry.

"I am proud to announce that we are well on our way to making 2008 another record breaking year for data loss," said the gurning beancounter. "This latest data loss shows that Britain excels not only in sailing, cycling and rowing, but also leads the world in risible ineptitude."

The best individual figures for the department were achieved in a single incident, when 27,000 people working for department suppliers were affected after information from badly protected electronic storage devices was disclosed without authorisation.

Names, addresses and bank details were taken, while the MoJ made no efforts to notify the people involved.

And in January 14,000 people were affected due to the theft of a poorly-protected laptop from secured government premises. Names, dates of birth and some national insurance numbers were lost.

US analyst Brad Oysterburger says that there is still scope for the UK government to improve on its already phenomenal record for data loss. “If the government goes ahead with its plans for compulsory ID cards for all UK citizens and a centralised database recording all electronic communications, then these data loss figures could soon be considered a mere bagatelle. Britain looks in strong shape to cement its position as the greatest laughing stock in the world of data security.”